The Art of Self-Love Series

When you hear “self-love,” what pops into your head? Maybe you imagine someone lounging in a bath with candles, cucumbers over their eyes, maybe a glass of something sparkly. Or you think of expensive spa days, perfectly crafted morning routines, or yoga retreats where everyone seems to have unlocked the secrets of the universe (and miraculously mastered every yoga pose along the way).

But, as you may have guessed, self-love is about a whole lot more than cucumber slices and spa days. Don’t get me wrong—those things are wonderful! But self-love goes so much deeper. It’s the lifelong commitment to seeing yourself as worthy of love, care, and kindness, even on the days when you can’t muster the energy for a bubble bath.

The Myth vs. Reality of Self-Love

Let’s clear up one thing right from the start: self-love isn’t about “fixing” yourself. You are not an endless project that needs constant improvements. It’s not about finding that one magic routine or life hack that will suddenly make you perfect. Self-love is about learning to appreciate who you already are—the version of you that might sometimes feel messy, tired, or “not enough.”

Imagine if you treated a friend the way you sometimes treat yourself. Would you nitpick every flaw? Would you point out every single mistake? Of course not! You’d be horrified if someone did that to a friend. Yet, somehow, when it comes to ourselves, we’re often harsher than we would be to anyone else. Real self-love is about shifting this mindset. It’s learning to treat yourself with the same kindness you’d offer someone you deeply care about—yes, even on days when you’re grumpy, tired, or maybe ate too much ice cream.

The Roots of Self-Love

At its core, self-love is rooted in this simple truth: you are worthy of care, kindness, and attention. This isn’t about being arrogant or self-centered; it’s about recognizing your inherent value. Self-love is knowing that you are a person who deserves to be loved—by others, yes, but especially by yourself.

For many of us, that’s not how we were raised to think. We grew up being told to put others first, to work hard, to achieve, to be “good” or “perfect.” Somewhere along the way, self-love got buried under all these expectations, and we were left with the impression that caring about ourselves was somehow selfish or indulgent.

But that’s just not true. In fact, the opposite is true. When you love and care for yourself, you’re not taking away from anyone else. You’re creating a more peaceful, fulfilled version of yourself—a version who has even more to give to the people you care about. It’s a win-win.

Reclaiming Self-Love: The Journey Back to You

Here’s the good news: self-love isn’t some magical quality that only a few people have. It’s something you can learn, build, and strengthen over time. And it’s something all of us are working on! You’re not alone in figuring this out; we’re all learning. Think of self-love as a lifelong journey—one with twists, turns, and maybe a few bumps along the way.

There will be days when it feels easy, and days when it feels nearly impossible. That’s okay. Real self-love allows for both. It’s not about “achieving” a constant state of peace and happiness. It’s about creating a space for all of your emotions, experiences, and yes, even mistakes, without judgment.

And if you ever feel like you’re falling short, just remember that no one has it all figured out. The person you see on Instagram with the perfectly curated self-care routine? She’s on her own journey, too. Self-love is a process, not a destination.

A Final Thought: Let’s Walk This Path Together

In this series, we’ll keep exploring what it means to truly love yourself. We’ll talk about the ups and downs, the self-doubt, the funny moments, and the small victories. Because self-love isn’t about grand gestures; it’s about showing up for yourself, even in the tiniest ways.

So, if you’ve ever felt like you’re not “doing self-love right,” take a deep breath. You’re doing just fine. In fact, just by being here, by taking a few minutes to think about what self-love really means to you, you’re already on your way. And that’s something worth celebrating.