Stepping Into Your Sexiest Self: How to Build Body Confidence in the Bedroom

How do you feel when you think about getting naked with someone, whether that person is a brand new partner or your spouse of decades? Hopefully you feel beautiful, hot, and empowered. But if not, you’re far from alone. 

According to one study, around 50% of adult women in the USA feel dissatisfied with their bodies. Men do not fare much better, with one study showing that 41% of men were self-conscious about their weight and 11% believed themselves to be unattractive. 

Low body-confidence can have a devastating impact on your mental health, quality of life, and overall wellbeing. It can also seriously impact your sex life. You can’t feel sexy if you’re sucking in your stomach, worrying what your partner thinks about your surgery scars, or feeling bad about the size of your penis. 

That’s why we have put together a few tips to help you step into your sexiest self and enjoy all the benefits of becoming more bedroom-confident than ever.  

Seek Out Diverse Bodies to Admire

We are constantly bombarded by specific and largely unattainable images of beauty. This can worsen feelings of body dissatisfaction, leaving you comparing yourself unfavorably to other people and measuring yourself against an impossible standard. You can start to combat this by diversifying the images you consume. 

If you watch pornography, seek out content made by performers of all different body types. This will enable you to start seeing bodies that look like yours, as well as bodies that don’t look like yours, as sexy and desirable. (Remember to look for ethical content and pay for it!) 

Even if porn isn’t your thing, you can enjoy diverse images of beauty. Follow body-positive influencers and hashtags such as #bodypositive, #effyourbeautystandards, and #allbodiesaregoodbodies to flood your social media feeds with gorgeous folks of all ages, genders, races, body sizes, and abilities. 

Wear Things That Make You Feel Fabulous 

What makes you feel hot, sexy, and confident? Is it your favorite shirt, a beautiful lingerie set, or a particular piece of jewelry? Perhaps it’s something gender-affirming, such as a binder or packer. Even a specific perfume, aftershave, or body lotion may help you to get into a sexy headspace. 

If you don’t know the answer to this question yet, it’s time to go shopping. Even if you don’t buy anything straight away, you can try some things on and start learning about what makes you feel amazing. 

Don’t want to get completely naked for sex? You don’t have to! If keeping something on makes you feel your best, then you can absolutely do that and your partner(s) should respect it. 

Touch, Look At, and Appreciate Your Own Body

Think about all the amazing things your body does for you. Perhaps it carried your children, allows you to climb mountains or swim in the ocean, or just gives you tremendous pleasure. Thank your body for those wonderful gifts. 

Take the time to look at and really see your own body. Stand in front of the mirror and, each time you catch yourself thinking about a part you don’t like, replace that thought with a positive affirmation. For example, if you find yourself thinking “I hate my scar,” tell yourself instead that “my scars are proof that I’m a survivor.” 

Finally, get used to touching yourself lovingly. This isn’t just about masturbation (though that’s important, too!) Take the time to touch, stroke, and caress the parts of you that don’t often get much attention, to revel in the sensations they give you and to explore what feels good. In other words, touch yourself like you’d touch a lover, with admiration and reverence.

Ask Your Partner for Support

If you’re in a relationship, tell your partner that you are struggling with body confidence and ask for their support. A loving partner will be happy to reassure you that you are beautiful, handsome, or hot and that they find you desirable and sexy. 

If your partner makes you feel bad about your body, that is a reflection upon them and not upon you. Our partners are supposed to love us and build us up, not tear us down. You deserve someone who sees exactly how gorgeous you are and is happy to tell you that as often as you need to hear it. 

Get Some Boudoir Photos Done 

Whether you share the pictures with your partner, post them on your Instagram page, or just keep them for yourself, a boudoir photoshoot is a wonderful gift to yourself. A skilled photographer will work with you to find the best poses, increase your confidence, and help bring out the inherent and unique beauty that is within you. 

If you’re a woman, you might consider going to an all-female studio if it makes you feel more comfortable and at ease.